Aug. 17

     Had a great work out Monday morning. Rolled off the exercise ball and hit my knee on one of the machines at Perry. OUCH! boy did that hurt, and it's Wednesday today, and my knee is still sore and black and blue.  There's something to be said about balancing and exericising, and staying on the ball, etc...I'm sure the other people there got a good laugh! Scared my friend Bonnie also!

     My life has been very stressful, and still continues. Good thing, I have a job, my hours only got cut by a small portion, so that's a good thing! And hopefully it's only for a year! I'm looking for a part time job to make up for the lost income, so I'll start that journey tomorrow.

   I know I'm stressed, for some reason I woke up at 2 am this morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. yawn....I'll sleep good tonite! Going to work out with Hannah tomorrow. This will have to be my last session unfortunately. I need to cut out any extra curricular activities that aren't pertenant to survival!! I can keep my membership at Perry active for the next year, so that will be my vise for the next 12 months! I was really glad to wear my size 12 shorts that I bought yesterday! I don't believe I've worn this size for at least 30 years! It's a good feeling, I feel better physically, but I'm still struggling when looking in the mirror, I still see the fat Vivian, and in my mind, I'm no different, i'm still the fat girl down the street. I  Reallly need to change the way i feel about myself, I guess in time that will happen.

    I"m still dealing with all the changes in my life that have occured these past couple of weeks. Sometimes distance is the best way to look at situations that we've put ourselves in, and now I'm not looking through rose colored glasses anymore, and everything is so much clearer!

     Change..that's a tough word. We all experience change at sometime in our lives, it doesn't make it any easier. I have my Faith in God, and I know he won't give me anything I can't handle! He has a plan for me, I'd just wish that maybe he could tap me on the shoulder and whisper in my ear what exactly that plan is!!!

    Even through everything that's going on, I'm still staying motivated, and for the first time in my life, I'm not eating to soothe my stress! This makes me very happy! I'm starting to think that maybe I'm figuring out this whole weight loss thing afterall! We'll see!

    Stay focused everyone! If I can do it, so can you!!!!

God Bless,

Vivian

Aug. 13

         It's Saturday, and I'm enjoying the beautiful weather today! The last few weeks have been very stressful for me to say the least, but things are working out as they always do. (someone used to tell me that all the time).

    Things I've learned this week: nothing lasts forever, (I don't think there's such a word honestly), I've always told my children don't settle. I'm living those words this week myself. Going day to day, and not feeling important to the one person you care most about, is hurtful.

     Actions speak louder than words always. I'm moving on to other adventures is my motivation from now on. There's a whole world out there I haven't seen or experienced yet! So look out, Here I come!!! I've committed myself to the Fairport triathalon for 2012. This will help me keep motivated throughout the winter months, and give me more accountability next year. I still need that accountability, and probably always will!

   I'm still working out at Perry, and taking Zumba at Painesville Twp. Park on Wed. nights. The second session just started up again so there's 4 weeks left this time around!! It's 8-9pm if you're interested! It's lots of fun!

    Another positive note, I was able to wrap a bath towel around myself the other day. The reason why escapes me, and I had done it without thinking, but afterwards, I had looked down, and noticed not only did I have it wrapped around, but there was extra towel left!! I have not done that in 30 yrs!! At least not with a regular towel. I done it with beach towels, and extra long bath towels, and I remember justifying the experiences somehow I'm sure.

     I hope everyone continues their weight loss! Life changes this I know. For being such a spastic person, I've discovered, like so many, I don't like change.....It's here, and I know there's more to come starting next week, so wish me luck, and keep me in your prayers, I really  need to be at peace with what life is offering me right now....

God Bless,

    

 

Vivian

Last Weigh-in.

   What a day! I had just flown in after being gone all week, and came right from the airport! I wasn't sure if I had lost weight or not, I didn't have a scale while on vacation, but I was careful to work out almost everyday. It did pay off, and I did lose another 8lbs. I was very happy with that, and with my final weight loss.

    It was a sad day for me. As I had tried to explain to Laura, I felt that we (the contestants) were more of a team, rather than contestants in a competition. Sort of like those on a football team, track team, in marching band etc. We all shared a common goal, and we were in this together. I'm going to miss that "team" feeling. It was such an uplift and great support we had for each other. I hope to stay in touch with everyone, I know most of us still have more to lose, and I really hope we continue this journey!

     When Jamie (Slim and Fit) showed me my before photo when we very first got started, I was appalled. I really thought I had everyone fooled to think that I was thin. Honestly, I did. I wore the stretch jeans that were styled to make you look slim, I wore the "slimming" tops, and even tried to have my hair cut to make my face look thinner. And to tell you the truth, I really thought that all of these things worked! Until I saw myself in that picture. I now realize the only person I was fooling was me.....I really believe that I have an addictive behavior. My drug of choice is food...not alcohol, not drugs, just food. And how easy it is to get food whenever I want! And I can have anything I want as well! I won't go to jail for eating and driving, I won't get busted by selling food, and it's ok to eat it whenever and wherever I want. I have to remember NOT to use food as my crutch, my relief from a stressful day, or happy day, or sad day, or boring day. I need to remember to eat my 3 meals, and I will have to always measure my snacks. I don't know if there's a twelve step program for food addicts, but there should be. I really believe that it is a disease of some sort. It's a way of life for most. And it's soooooo easy to eat! My journey in weight loss continues, and it will be not necessarily a struggle, but a way of life, that I need to keep in my mind on a daily basis, so as not to slip back into my unhealthy ways.

     I'm ever so grateful to the News-Herald for putting on this competition, and for picking me. (I was very apprehenisive at the start), this is a good program you have going on, and it's helped so many people! I also want to thank Jamie and Hannah from Slim and Fit in Concord for being a part of this as well! You've given me insight, you've helped me with my workouts, you've encouraged me, and given me information about nutrition and exercise! You've been my rock throughout this journey and it was a blessing to know that you were only a phone call away if I ever needed to talk to either of you! I encourage anyone who works out, to visit them at Slim and Fit and talk to them. You don't need to go every week, but it was sooo helpful to me!  I'm grateful to the YMCA for the second place contender. They do so much for the community at every level, and to Achilles run shop for their generous gift as well! What a great team effort, I don't know who won, but I have my thoughts as to who the top 3 winners are, and whoever they are they deserve it! It's been such a great journey with such wonderful hardworking and dedicated people! I will miss this without a doubt! To my family and friends, thank you for being there for me throughout this joureny. You called me out when I would start to slip back to my old ways, you encouraged me, and gave me strength to get through this competition! Without all of you, and your positive feed back I would not have been successful with my weight loss!

   And to Laura, Thank you for all that you've done! You've started a great program having this competition each year! You've touched so many people's lives, whether they're in the competition or not, and I appreciated your words of encouragement to us, and the "atta boys" you gave us! I hope you keep this up

     For anyone reading this, if you're contemplating losing weight, just do it...it really is that simple. Don't wait until Monday, next month, when you get back from vacation, after your birthday, after your child's/husband's birthday, do it NOW...Like Jamie said, "Calories in, Calories out". No tricks, no diets, eat healthy, watch portions, and exercise somehow each day.. Start today, and see where you are in 6 months, you will be pleasantly suprised, such as we were!!!!!

 

Have a Blessed Day Everyone!! And good luck to all the winners this year!!!!!!!

 

 

Vivian