Aug. 17

     Had a great work out Monday morning. Rolled off the exercise ball and hit my knee on one of the machines at Perry. OUCH! boy did that hurt, and it's Wednesday today, and my knee is still sore and black and blue.  There's something to be said about balancing and exericising, and staying on the ball, etc...I'm sure the other people there got a good laugh! Scared my friend Bonnie also!

     My life has been very stressful, and still continues. Good thing, I have a job, my hours only got cut by a small portion, so that's a good thing! And hopefully it's only for a year! I'm looking for a part time job to make up for the lost income, so I'll start that journey tomorrow.

   I know I'm stressed, for some reason I woke up at 2 am this morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. yawn....I'll sleep good tonite! Going to work out with Hannah tomorrow. This will have to be my last session unfortunately. I need to cut out any extra curricular activities that aren't pertenant to survival!! I can keep my membership at Perry active for the next year, so that will be my vise for the next 12 months! I was really glad to wear my size 12 shorts that I bought yesterday! I don't believe I've worn this size for at least 30 years! It's a good feeling, I feel better physically, but I'm still struggling when looking in the mirror, I still see the fat Vivian, and in my mind, I'm no different, i'm still the fat girl down the street. I  Reallly need to change the way i feel about myself, I guess in time that will happen.

    I"m still dealing with all the changes in my life that have occured these past couple of weeks. Sometimes distance is the best way to look at situations that we've put ourselves in, and now I'm not looking through rose colored glasses anymore, and everything is so much clearer!

     Change..that's a tough word. We all experience change at sometime in our lives, it doesn't make it any easier. I have my Faith in God, and I know he won't give me anything I can't handle! He has a plan for me, I'd just wish that maybe he could tap me on the shoulder and whisper in my ear what exactly that plan is!!!

    Even through everything that's going on, I'm still staying motivated, and for the first time in my life, I'm not eating to soothe my stress! This makes me very happy! I'm starting to think that maybe I'm figuring out this whole weight loss thing afterall! We'll see!

    Stay focused everyone! If I can do it, so can you!!!!

God Bless,

Vivian